So, after a slightly dramatic weekend, I switched on the news while I was getting ready for work yesterday morning, and found out that a freakin Tropical Storm had hit sometime between my going to bed Friday night and waking up! I mean, I know living on the Gulf Coast means some occasionally freaky weather systems, but this happened so quickly! Everything was fine, then BAM…here comes Hermine! I should have known, the Greek of Hermine means Complete, Universal, Messenger. I think I got the complete message that the universe is out to get me.
To explain, I should say this: My family is crazy. Not all of them. Hell, what am I saying, just about all of them. And really, that’s okay….but sometimes the DRAMA just gets to be like 6th grade lunch period! “Did you hear what Emily said about Scott’s new girlfriends, cousin’s best friend’s dog? Seriously, that’s just nasty!” WTF? Who or what is nasty? The dog or Scott or ….? Never mind, my head hurts thinking about it. Someone get me some Advil! This my friends, is how I sometimes feel with family….like the only way to get through it is to drug up.
So needless to say, after having 10 or 11 (the jury is still out on that one) drinks Saturday night at a bar with some family members, another family member got their feelings hurt because they weren’t “invited.” I hadn’t realized that bars had changed their rules, and you could only enter by personal invite, but I guess that is how this family member thinks, well… when they choose to think.
I’m not sure why someone who doesn’t drink, hates cigarette smoke, and loud metal music would be mad that they weren’t invited to a metal show at a smoke filled bar, but needless to say there is now a whole family drama unwinding on Facebook, and I have decided that I am going to forgo the excitement and join another family. Anyone want to adopt me? I don’t cook much, or like to clean… but I am fun to be around, make a mean Jack and Coke, can down a beer pretty damn quick, and I make an awesome Coca Cola Cake. I have some other wonderful qualities, but to be honest, I can’t list them because my ego just swelled up and doesn’t need another boost!
So after the tense family drama, I tried to spend the rest of the weekend just vegging. I watched several movies, and confirmed my theory that the current Vampire heartthrob isn’t the best actor on the planet when I saw The Bad Mother’s Handbook. To be fair, it was one of his earlier works, and he does seem to have gotten slightly better, but to be honest, I’d rather watch (and by watch I mean stare at while I wipe the drool off my chin) his werewolf costar! It should be against the law for someone so young to be that damned good to look at! I felt like a pervert the first time I said something about his chest, not realizing at the time that he was 17. Yep, 17….. the age when boys are supposed to look like BOYS… not men with rippling muscles that make you want to trace every line on their stomach with your tongue, just to be sure it’s real. Calm down, calm down…he is 18 now, so it’s okay for me to dream about licking all that werewolf sweat off his rippling skin. Damn, what was I talking about? I completely lost my train of thought.
Oh well, I think I am just going to go to sleep tonight and hit the “restart” button, and hope that I can just put the last few days behind me. Getting through all this has been a bit of work, and Labor Day is supposed to be Labor free! Damn Scott and his dog….
I’m Just Sayin’